Lyrium and Faith
by ophierru
Summary: Evelyn Trevelyan is nothing holy, yet she hears on her hand a mark that makes her blessed in the eyes of many. Can she begin to rise to the calling of Herald of Andraste, or will her own fears consume her? Help comes from Ex-Templar Cullen Rutherford, who begins to guide her.
1. Snowfall

It was not the incessant rains of the Storm Coast that clung to the skin in the cold. It not the snows of the Frostbacks that stiffened the toes and joints of all who trod through the biting cold. These could be endured with grit. To complain would be weakness when the soldiers of the Inquisition had to face worse for longer periods of time.

It was not even the Chantry politics of Val Royeaux that was akin to walking through a pen of malignant angry cats. All these things Evelyn Trevelyan could handle. Orlesian politics was not unlike home in the Free Marches, where silence could wound as much as a shiv in the dark. Even the Ostwick Circle had its fair share of friction between the fraternities.

That was what she could not stand - the mark. The mark that some said marked her as blessed by the Maker. They called her the Herald of Andraste, through no choice of hers. It was merely by circumstance that she had literally fallen into the middle of events that threatened to shake Thedas, she did not feel herself unusual or special because of it. Mostly, she felt lost, though she'd be damned if she showed it to anyone but the Maker. There were some trappings of a noble background that were hard to shake off, even in the Circle.

Not that there were Circles anymore. As the mage rebellion escalated into all-out war with the Templars and with everyone else, Divine Justinia called for both Templars and mages to sit down to peace talks. The Conclave would be held in the most sacred place in all of Thedas, the Temple of Sacred Ashes, where under the eyes of the Maker in the final known resting place of his Divine Prophet Andraste, they could end the chaos.

She had been sent there to observe the talks. She was a promising apprentice to the First Enchanter - his youngest, in fact. She was also a mage from the Trevelyan family, a family so powerful even Templars stepped carefully around them. She remembered the journey from Ostwick, she remembered setting up in the mage quarters, she remembered waking up the day of the explosion and then… nothing.

Nothing until the pain in her left hand had roused her from a three-day long coma with spitting green fire and searing pain.

She looked down at the mark on her right palm as she stood at the top of the walls of Haven. From the lookout platform against the inside of the wall, the valley of Haven spread before her, mountains clawing into the dark gray sky lit with eerie green from the Breach that loomed over them - a green that also glowed freely from the mark if she didn't think about it. She rubbed her palm through the leather glove. The green glow still shone, as if the leather wasn't there. Focus enough and the mark was tame. She shut her eyes, willing it to quieten. It did, the glow dimming and the burning fading into a dull fire in her nerves. The training that allowed her to hurl lightning from her hands also helped her control the mark to some degree. That was reassuring.

She sighed, wondering if it were luck or divine purpose that placed the mark on the hand of a mage, when magic ripped open the sky and killed the Divine. She straightened and leaned on her hands, the night breeze that carried hints of snow to come tugged at her long dark hair and leather coat. She sighed contentedly, her breath misting in the chill before being torn away in the breeze. It was quiet now in Haven. She liked the peace.

Movement caught her eye. In the soldiers' tents outside the walls, a figure moved. She smiled, recognising the pauldrons of luxurious fur. Cullen. She watched him head to the stocks with blade and shield in hand, a dark shadow against the Breach-lit snow. On a whim, she climbed down from the lookout platform and headed to the gate.

The guards at Haven's gate recognised her. They saluted and opened the gate. She gave them a winsome smile of thanks and headed out. Her boots crunched in the snow as she walked across to the tents as the gates shut behind her. Cullen did not seem to notice her as she approached, with his back to her as he practiced with the stocks. His sword strokes rang out in the night. There was no complaint from the tents nearby, perhaps the soldiers were used to this late-night training. "Commander," she greeted, her voice low and smooth in that effortless way she had. "Trouble sleeping?"

He chuckled slightly, turning to look at her with a slight smile. "No, this is the only time I have to practice on my own. What of you, Herald? It's a bit late to be walking about in the snow."

"I'll never get used to that title," she rolled her eyes as she walked to an unused stock, leaning against the wooden dummy out of range of his sword strikes. The last thing she wanted was to be stabbed accidentally. Talking to Cullen was always fascinating. She had never spoken to Templars so freely. Well, hardly ever. Templars were usually innocent, celibate, and faithful. Fraternizing between them and mages was often frowned upon. And now, here was Cullen allowing her an unusual insight into the way Templars really were.

"Shouldn't you be resting for your journey to Therinfall Redoubt tomorrow?" he asked amidst the strikes.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, watching him. There was a calm certainty about the way he moved, so self-assured with blade and shield, wearing armour as if it weighed nothing. Her uncles and cousins moved like that after years of training. But not even they could match the Templars, the best trained warriors in Thedas. "I hope the Templars will be amenable to talks tomorrow. With a Magister on our doorstep and the Breach in the sky…"

"I must admit, I am surprised you agreed to talk to the Templars instead of allying with the rebel mages."

"Why?"

His movements slowed as he glanced at her awkwardly. "Well-"

"Because I'm a mage?" she smiled in warm amusement. "Clearly, we wouldn't trust those nasty Templars skulking about, watching us all the time."

"I didn't mean any offence," he muttered, lowering sword and shield.

"None taken," she chuckled. "Don't worry, Cullen. I liked the Templars, after a while. Once you earn their trust, it's easy to get along with them. By 'get along', I mean not have them follow you everywhere and eyeing you like you stole the silverware or were a breath away from Blood Magic. They're just doing, well, their duty, for the most part."

"It's good to see that there are some mages who recognize this. The Templars take no pleasure in acting as bogeymen out to harm their charges, even if they do steal the silverware."

She chuckled. "I can't imagine you as a bogeyman, you're too nice, Cullen."

He couldn't help but laugh at that, his eyes lingering on her smile. He cleared his throat and turned back to his strikes, shield raised. "I'm not nice all the time," he said. "And in the past, especially not to mages."

"Everyone goes through their own journey," Evelyn smiled as he moved through the same practiced sword strike. "I didn't trust Templars either at first, until I came to know them better. Some were good, some not so, but the same could be said for everyone."

"That's a forgiving view for an ex-Templar to hear," he said seriously, his sword flashing as he struck the stock. "Especially for one who acted with distrust towards mages himself, sometimes without cause."

"I'm an Aequetarian," she shrugged. "It's what we do. Middle of the road, forgiving, idealistic to the point of foolishness." Around them the snow began to fall, a steady veil of white tinged with the light of the Breach enclosed them. Snow settled in her dark hair and in the fur of his pauldrons.

"You're not foolish."

"See what I mean about you being too nice?" There was mischief in her eyes as she saw the colour rising in his cheeks. She enjoyed finding new ways to make him blush, there was something appealing about the fact that it was sometimes so easy. Perhaps it was a perverse pleasure, she honestly did not know, but she couldn't deny that he made her smile and forget the mark's constant dull fire.

"It occurs to me that I have not had any professional advice on facing Templars, Cullen," she said, straightening up and adjusting the hem of her glove. "In case things go tits-up, and since you're itching for a workout, might I ask that you give me some instruction?"

"Is the Herald of Andraste allowed to say 'tits-up'?" he grinned. "It makes you sound like a fishwife."

"You heard me," she said. "I should have asked you earlier but now that I think about it, I've never fought a proper Templar. That sort of experimentation is discouraged in the Circle."

"Proper? Weren't they harrying the Hinterlands? I recall Cassandra telling me you took down quite a few."

"I mean a good one. I had never raised my staff against another person in combat before I got the mark, and the fact that they went down to my inexperienced fighting technique speaks volumes about their calibre. But you - you're a good Templar," she paused, frowning at how her words came out. She sounded like a doe-eyed apprentice. "You know what I mean."

He straightened up and turned to her, his honeyed eyes narrowed with thought. He looked even more appealing when he was serious than when she made him blush. She wondered if there were ever a time when the Commander did not, in fact, command every eye in the room. She wondered if he even noticed that he did. He probably didn't, he struck her as the selectively oblivious sort. Then she realized that she ought to stop fixating on his damn eyes, even if they were pretty. "You want pointers?" he asked.

"I want practice. Weak spots in their armour, how they deflect my spells, their range and blind areas. Are their techniques similar to shield bearers? I have to know." She shook her staff free from its clasp on her back, the wood and metal thrumming to life with lightning at the pinnacle. "The First Enchanter told me of Templar techniques and abilities, but the Templars I faced in the Hinterlands were dregs - poor examples. They won't be the ones I may face tomorrow."

"I don't want to hurt you, Herald." Though he said that, she could see the twitch in his sword arm and the slight smile peeking at the corner of his lips.

"I don't think either of us will be fighting to the fullest. Though, let's face it, you could take me down easily. For now." Evelyn smirked, readying her stance - feet wide on the soft snow, arms apart and staff held low. "You're the Inquisition's military adviser. Advise me."

The snow seemed to whisper as it fell around them, wrapping them in their own cocoon of privacy, hidden from view with their voices hushed. Cullen raised his shield before him, his sword pointed towards her. He lowered his body to maximise the coverage of his shield. She had seen these poses among the Templars in the Hinterlands, but not a one of them mastered the form as she saw before her now. She looked for gaps from the front, but there were none.

"The first thing you want," he said then, "is distance." He charged, inexorably closing the gap between them in two strides. Evelyn seemed to flicker into the falling snow and vanished backwards. He paused to listen - distant running footsteps moving in an arc around him, then a burst of lightning from afar to the left, flanking him. He turned his shield and blocked the lightning, angling the shield down so the bolts seared into the snow on the ground before him. Through the rising steam of boiling snow, he moved towards the bolts that kept surging towards him. Mages could not move when casting due to the absolute focus involved in forming their spells. He saw a shadow in the curtain of snow as it raised its staff.

Lightning seared down from the sky, striking him, but the bolts merely flickered over his skin and faded into a blue glow as he grimaced. He was close enough to see her face now, her expression shocked. The Templars in the Hinterlands had gone down to spells less powerful than this, but Cullen shrugged it off like snowfall. "Templars can bolster their immunity to primal magic," he said, speaking with the voice of a trainer. She frowned and flickered away into the snow once more to put distance between them, but his shield seemed to follow her, blocking her path. It clanged against something as she swept past him like the cold wind.

She halted twenty feet away from him, her staff arm quivering from his shield's strike to her staff. She looked down and tried to shake the nerves back to life, only to glance up to see him charging to her once more. "Focus! Staff up!" he snapped. Evelyn grit her teeth and felt the clang of metal against metal as she raised her staff to block his sword strike. The blade caught in the wrapping of the staff grip. "If that were any quicker, you'd be dead," he chided her face to face.

She glared at him, her eyes hardening with determination. She twisted her staff, using her movement to imbalance him and strike away the sword as she turned to dodge under his arm. From behind, she saw her opening. Her staff in her left hand, her right flared with electrical energy. She pressed the spell right into him until he twisted, flowing with her own motion to catch the bolt on his pauldron.

The burst of energy sent her flying backwards, landing in the snow with her feet wide and her body low, catching her balance at the last minute. She saw him stagger from the blast, current arcing over the pauldron's metal. There was no blue glow. She raised her staff to cast again. There was a blinding flash of light in her eyes, a light that fell like a white shroud that made her ears ring and her eyes burn. She grimaced and shielded her eyes with her arms.

When the searing white light cleared, she blinked as the world swam into focus once more. She felt warmth on her arms, warm breath. There he was, in front of her, standing there with his sword not even raised. He was close enough that she could smell him, the leather, the sweat, the oil from his armour. She felt her heart skip a beat as she looked up at him, frozen, her arms still raised. She felt the heat rise from her fluttering stomach to her chest to her cheeks; and saw that slight smugness in his eyes.

"Their backs," she said to him as she stepped back quickly. She remembered to breathe and began to pant from the sudden bursts of energy she had expended in their skirmish. She felt weak and bested in more ways than one. She really needed to become better accustomed to combat. In the Circle, mages wielded quills rather than staves during confrontations. But he was a veteran Templar, while she was a much-younger, inexperienced, and, if she were brutally honest, over-pampered noble mage.

He was also not as oblivious as he looked or acted. "Their backs are their weak spots," she said, willing her voice to be serious, to shake the girlish quiver from her words. "Get close enough before their defenses rise."

"Well-spotted," he said, his voice washing over her, business-like but for the smug gleam in his eyes. "But getting close to them and surviving, that's another matter. Your best option is to rely on distractions. A Templar facing an opponent up close will have little time to raise defences against magic."

"Thank goodness I do not work alone," she said. "You blocked lighting. Can you do the same for ice? Fire?"

He smiled faintly. "All primal spells," he said. "Lyrium gives us a multitude of abilities to counter and even dispel magic. As for the rest, our faith sees us through."

"And that's all you need? Lyrium and faith?"

"Most of the time, it's enough."

"But how much resistance does it give you?"

"Complete."

"That's not what I saw." She saw him hesitate. "But I guess… it's late at night. My eyes might have been playing tricks on me." She swung her staff to its clasp on the back of her coat. "Thank you, Cullen," she said, her voice thoughtful as she watched him. "I've learned a lot from you."

"Happy to help, Herald."

"Evelyn, please."

"Evelyn." She liked the way her name sounded on his voice. He turned to head back to the soldiers' tents.

He had gone a few steps when her voice cut through the quiet of the snowfall once more. "How often do you let mages get that close?" she asked him. She saw him pause and look over his shoulder, his pauldrons almost blocking his face from view.

"Never," he said almost too quickly, as if the answer came unbidden. He hesitated and finally sighed. "Or rather, hardly ever. Goodnight, Herald."

That left her angry. She had not expected his closeness to unwind her like that. And all he did was stand there! For all that she had casually flirted with him - and he was too good-looking not to - she was not accustomed to losing control. It was irrational and she did not like it. "Goodnight, Commander." He walked off into the snow and she too turned to head back to Haven's gates. She waited a moment until she was sure he was out of earshot, then swore in a most unfeminine fashion. "Hardly ever, indeed!" she snapped, annoyance in her voice. She felt like she fought flailing about like a jester flinging fireballs for a lark. And that smirk he had… he had certainly wiped the smirk off her. How intriguing. She did not realize that her voice carried to the tents so she did not see his smile. Neither did he notice her carry a strange smile of her own back to her quarters, barely aware of the dull throbbing of her mark.


	2. Banners

The following morning dawned bright with crisp new snow. The gates of Haven were bustling. Packs horses were being loaded with supplies, as well as war horses provided by Master Dennet, the newly instated Inquisition Horsemaster. Cassandra would be accompanying her, as would Varric and Solas. It would be good to spend time on the road with these two. Varric's tales passed the time quickly and Solas's views on the Fade were highly unconventional and very educational.

"After all, Lord Seeker is a righteous man," Cassandra was saying as she walked with Evelyn. "I do not foresee much fighting, merely a clash of words."

"Nevertheless," Evelyn said over the cruch of their boots in the snow. "You can't be too careful. These days are crazy, chaotic and confusing, who knows what people may do." She did not truly share Cassandra's firm view of the Lord Seeker. There were too many rumours about the Lord Seeker's involvement in what happened in the White Spire among the mages, and not all of them good. Still, she respected Cassandra's opinion of him. If her meeting with Lord Lucius in Val Royeaux were anything to go by, she was in for an odd day.

"These are strange times indeed," Cassandra smiled slightly at her, a knowing look in her eyes as she mounted up her roan mare. "Who knows what people may do when no one watches?"

Evelyn glanced guiltily at Cullen, who stood by the side speaking to a Captain. She laughed in embarrassment. Of course the lights from the night before would attract attention. Ah, well, there was no helping it now. "There's no hiding anything from you, is there, Cassandra?" she smiled faintly as she went to check the cinches on her horse's saddle.

"I am a Seeker, after all," Cassandra said drily.

Varric was being helped onto a horse with with as much dignity as a dwarf could muster while Solas mounted his own horse, his elven body moving lithely. "Is everyone ready?" Evelyn asked.

"Herald," said Cullen, approaching her with the Captain. "This is Captain Rylon, he will be overseeing the encampment and its defence. Should anything untoward happen, Rylon will send word and cover you until reinforcements arrive from Haven."

"An honour, Herald," Rylon bowed. The man looked to be about Cullen's age, but still hard as teak. She wondered if Rylon was a Templar as well.

"Captain," Evelyn smiled. "I look forward to travelling with you." Cullen dismissed Rylon, who went to busy himself forming up the troops.

"He looks a dependable man," Evelyn said, watching Rylon.

"He is, I would not send him otherwise," Cullen said. "With any luck, the soldiers and the emergency messenger ravens will not be needed."

"And I still think this is a bad idea," came Leliana's voice. Leliana and Josephine approached from the gates. The spymaster and ambassador were an odd pair, though they were both fast friends. Leliana was all in austere gray mail and cloak, her head hooded against the cold, while Josephine wore dazzling gold and blue silks, soft leather belting her waist in the latest style of Antiva. "We should get the mages, they deserve a chance," Leliana insisted, folding her arms with a look of worry on her face.

"A chance we cannot afford to give if it puts the Herald's life in danger," Cullen said with a weary sigh. "They have bound themselves to a Tervinter Magister who clearly wants the Herald dead. Must we go through this again?"

"Enough, please, both of you," Evelyn said with a warm smile even as her eyes were tight. "Try not to discuss this in front of the men. What would they think if we wound up arguing? My life has been in danger since I fell out of the Fade, but a contingent of Templars would assist the Inquisition in its counter-magical and martial needs. Not to mention the legitimacy it would bring in the eyes of the middle-ground clerics in the Chantry which is trying to denounce us. I want to give my fellow mages a chance, but that cannot cloud the decision we need to make for the greater good."

"That is presuming the Templars will even aid us," said Josephine wryly.

"Optimist," Evelyn laughed. "But, yes, that is the hope."

"Then before you go, Herald, may I once again go over the Orlesian lords you will meet," Josephine said urgently, clipboard in hand. "The nobles of ten houses will be represented by Lord Abernache. The weight of Orlais may convince the Lord Seeker to lend us aid. It is thus imperative that we make sure they-"

Evelyn blinked. "We've talked about this twice already," she pleaded and mounted her horse.

"Sign nothing Lord Abernache gives you!"

"Maker's breath!" Evelyn tried not to roll her eyes. Josephine was a worrier by nature, or Evelyn did not inspire much confidence in her.

"Travel safe, Herald," Cullen said up to her.

"Evelyn, please," she murmured absently, adjusting herself on her saddle.

"Don't worry, Commander," Leliana said to Cullen. "After the training last night, I'm sure the Herald is well prepared."

Cullen blinked. "Asking you how you know would be a foolish question, wouldn't it?"

"Maybe the lightning and the flash might have been a little ostentatious for us both," Evelyn laughed. "But I think we both got a little carried away.". He could not stop the colour from coming to his cheeks. "Maker keep you all," Evelyn said, the manners beaten into her as as child were hard to shake. "And, yes, Josephine, I promise to mind my manners and not sign away the Inquisition to Lord Abernache."

"Have faith in our Herald," Cassandra said as she rode up beside Evelyn. That seemed to quieten Evelyn a little, once more feeling the weight of the title. "We will return with the Templars."

They rode out of Haven, leading the troops with Captain Rylon behind them. Cassandra, Solas, Varric and Evelyn rode at the head of the column while scouts ranged ahead. "Herald," Evelyn sighed. Absently, she began to rub the mark on her palm as she idly held the stirrups.

"Does it trouble you?" asked Cassandra.

"You know it does. I am no Herald, whatever they say. This is a magical phenomenon and I know it. This can be studied, provided it does not kill me first. Perhaps it can even be duplicated. They will cry foul when they wake up from their dream to realize that I am little more than a mage, with magic."

"A mage who has been helpful so far," Cassandra pointed out. "You stopped a war in the Hinterlands, closed the Breach once before and now are seeking to do so permanently. Do your actions not speak for you? If you aren't the Herald, or feel unworthy, then perhaps you should change that."

Evelyn looked at Cassandra, her blue eyes hard and serious. "Become worthy," Cassandra said simply. "Perhaps the Maker chose you not for what you are, but for what you will become."

Evelyn was silent, lost in uncomfortable thoughts. She wanted to be a good mage. Perhaps become a First Enchanter before fifty. But now she was constantly reminded that she was asked to be something larger than that. Herald of Andraste. "That's all there is to it, is there?" she asked, her voice tight. "Just work yourself up to save the world?"

Cassandra smiled. "Yes," she replied.

"Helpful."

"Complaining about it does little to change the task at hand. It just makes you sound-"

"Foolish," Evelyn had the decency to feel and look embarassed. "I do sound rather petulant, don't I?"

"A little." Cassandra looked at her in amusement.

Not for the first time, Evelyn felt strangely close to this harsh woman. "I'll stop then. We can't have the Herald whine about everything, can we? What will people think?" Even if it didn't sound real, it was best to fake it for the sake of the cause. "Never let your smile fade," Evelyn waggled her finger, imitating her mother's haughty voice. "My mother used to say that."

"She sounds like a cheerful woman."

"Believe me, she didn't mean it that way."

"Ah, politics."

"Just so."

"You have a mother?" Varric asked, riding up behind them. The dwarf, once on the horse, rode easily, his crossbow Bianca slung across his back. "I mean, obviously, you do. But I didn't expect her to sound so... Orlesian."

Evelyn laughed. "She was. She married my father after meeting him at a ball in Halamshiral. She moved to my family's estate after that. Her years of playing the Game helped her get ahead in Ostwick. She was training my sisters and I from youth to marry wealthy men, play the game ruthlessly and maybe even birth the next Viscount of Ostwick."

"Ah, but you fell into the Fade," Varric pointed out. "How's she taking that?"

"Even better, trust me. Being the mother to the Herald of Andraste assisting the Inquisiton is FAR better than being the mother to the Enchanter devising new ways to combine deathroot and blightcap." She frowned at the mark as it began to burn and glow green and willed it silent once more. Solas watched her and said nothing. "Let's get this done. Once the Breach is sealed, my job will be over."

The journey to Therinfall Redoubt was uneventful. Few beasts or bandits would interfere with a contingent of soldiers and the heads of the Inquisition. They camped overnight in a glade and then headed out the next day, with sky overcast with a drizzling light rain that was invisible to the eyes but clinging to the skin. Evelyn made note to requisite waterproof boots when she returned to Haven. Her toes were wet.

They stopped in a meadow before the moat of Therinfall Redoubt. The castle was on a headland that jutted out to the sea, the back of the keep facing the ocean. The red Templar standards that hung from the walls seemed to weep in the rain. As the tents were being set up by the soldiers, Evelyn took a moment to herself in her tent. She checked her weapons, tightening the wrappings on her staff grip. She saw the broken straps where Cullen's blade had caught it. If things came to a head here, they would not aim for the staff. That could be her neck. Her grip tightened around the staff as she wrapped herself in all the steel she could muster. She could do this.

She fitted the staff into its clasp on her back and tied her dark hair up to keep it out of her face. She drew the hood of her leather coat up and stepped out into the rain. "My Lady Herald," Captain Rylon said, walking up to her. "We are ready for you, as are the nobles. A great many wait on the bridge of the encampment."

"Thank you, Captain," Evelyn said, water dripping from her coat. "If anything happens that we cannot handle, look out for flying sparks in the sky. Otherwise, do not storm that keep no matter what."

"Understood, my Lady," he saluted.

Evelyn headed to the edge of the camp where she joined Cassandra, Varric and Solas. Beyond them, she could see the gates of Therinfall flanked by three huge standards, white swords flaring flame against a black circle - to signify the Templar's singular purpose as protectors of the Chantry and guardian of the Circles. Their purpose was not so singular now, Evelyn reflected. Since the Conclave, the Templars abandoned the Chantry entirely under Lord Seeker Lucius's instruction and had fortified themselves in Therinfall Redoubt. Towers rose in the distance behind an imposing wall that arched over the iron gate. Overhead in the gray clouds, thunder rolled as the rain picked up, playing a stocatto on the stones, and walls.

"It screams 'I hate fun and kick puppies', doesn't it?" Varric noted wrily. Evelyn nodded. The place was dismal.

They walked up to the bridge crossing to the gates. Evelyn could see one noble standing there with a effusive elven servant behind him. The noble wore the finest doublet, sleeves coiffed in the latest Orlesian fashion. In the rain, the silks looked splotchy. Upon his face was an ornate mask of bronze, marking him as Lord Abernache. There were other nobles at the gate at the other end of the bridge as well, all speaking urgently with Templars who politely but firmly kept them out of the keep. "My Lord Abernache," Evelyn bowed.

"Herald," the man said, his voice carrying the Orlesian accent. "An honour. Truly this meeting is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales." Evelyn had no idea what he meant by that. "But it appears divinity puts you above such matters!"

They headed into the castle, Lord Abernache hinting at greater alliances with Orlais on behalf of the Emperor as they walked. The man was a pomp of the worst sort, the kind her mother would have despised. Nevertheless, everything Evelyn said was correct by the Game. She wondered if the Empress of Orlais even knew of half the promises Abernache was making.

At the inner gate of the keep, they were met by a young Templar, Ser Barris. He was introduced as Ser Delrin Barris, second son of Bann Jevrin Barris of Ferelden. Evelyn knew him as the man who questioned the Lord Seeker in Val Royeaux, when Lucius so publicly assaulted Mother Hevera and denounced the Chantry. Barris also totally ignored Abernache, which did little to smooth the noble's feathers. "I'm the one who sent word to Cullen," Barris said urgently to Evelyn before she was introduced. "He says the Inquisition seeks to close the hole in the sky."

"We do," Evelyn said. "I am Evelyn, the one they call the Herald. This is Seeker Cassandra and my associates, Master Varric Tethras and Solas. I must admit I was surprised to receive word that the Templars would speak with me."

"The Knights Templar welcome you, Lady Herald. Though I did not expect such… lofty company." He sighed. "The Lord Seeker's actions make no sense. He called us here, commanded that we stay and ignored all until today."

"But Seekers of Truth do not lead Templars, they police them," Evelyn said.

"Unless the Lord Seeker believes there to be a Mandate," said Cassandra.

"Has there been?"

"That's what the Lord Seeker told us," Barris replied. "But this is wrong. We should not be here. We should be out there closing the hole in the sky and restoring order. Convince him, Lady Herald, and every able-bodied knight will join your cause."

"It is refreshing to meet a Templar who remembers his charges," Solas murmured.

Evelyn thought of Cullen. "It is not unusual," she said. "But we will speak to the Lord Seeker. Maker willing, the Templars will be able to lend their aid to sealing the Breach." She cast a questioning glance at Cassandra, who gave her an almost imperceptible shake of the head. They did not need the Lord Seeker himself. Just his Templars.

"Yes, don't keep your betters waiting, Barris. There are important things to attend to for those born to it," Abernache snapped. Barris said nothing, but led them inside, though Evelyn could see the tightening around his eyes as he glanced at Lord Abernache. Evelyn followed, keenly aware that she and Solas were the only mages here. She slowed to step beside Solas as they walked. "Alright, Solas?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, should I not be?"

"Just asking, seeing as we're rather out of place."

"It was your decision to get the Templars," he pointed out. "You should have known that you, as a mage, would stand out in a keep full of Templars, of all places." It had been her decision. She had grown so tired of the circular arguments in the War Room. To ally with Mages recently indentured to a hostile Tervinter Magister or to speak to a known hostile Lord Seeker who seemed to have a bizarre change of heart. She trusted Magisters, and their allies, less than she trusted Templars.

"I was only asking after you, seeing as your situation is slightly different from mine."

"No one has tried to behead me for apostacy yet," Solas smiled slightly.

"So I've noticed. We'll keep an eye out for each other, shall we?"

They entered the courtyard of the keep. Templars watched them as they passed. Evelyn kept her cool exterior. She had no trouble with Templars before now, she even found them a bearable part of life in the Circle. But things were strange here. There was an undercurrent of uncertainty, suspicion and wariness, stayed only by curiosity about the so-called Herald of Andraste. Evelyn caught snatches of Conversation as they walked past groups of Templars. "We should not be here."

"-Why aren't we stopping the Breach?"

"-He said he would restore our honor-"

"The Lord Seeker has a request of you," Barris said suddenly. Evelyn turned to him as he stopped before three standards mounted on rails on the wall. One bore the sunburst of the Chantry, another the Rearing Dog of Ferelden's people and the last the Templar's flaming sword. "He wishes you to partake of this Ritual, to raise the flags in order of importance."

"This is ridiculous," Abernache, snapped. "Stop wasting our time, Barris!"

Evelyn ignored him. "He wishes to know the Inquisition's choice?"

"Not the Inquisition's," Barris said, eyeing a group of Templars watching from the battlements above. They were watching Barris and the party closely through squinted eyes. "He wants to know your choice. He's been asking for you by name. He's fixated on you ever since your horde of nobles arrived."

Evelyn's eyes hardened. That sounded like the Magister who had requested for her by name with such complimentary terms they were certain that he was going to kill her. She turned to the flags. What game was the Lord Seeker playing, she wondered. "I will do this," Evelyn said.

"Refuse!" Abernache snapped. "This is a waste of my time and yours. We did not come here to shuffle flags!"

"I will do this," Evelyn's voice cracked like a whip. She eyed Abernache, her blue eyes as hard as agates. She stepped up to the standards and raised them. People above Chantry, Chantry above Templars. The Templars and nobles in the courtyard watched the ceremony as the rain began to fall harder.

Evelyn wiped the rain from the end of her nose as she walked back to Barris. "It is done."

"Traditionally, one's choices are explained now," Barris said.

"Should the Chantry not serve the people? And is the Templar order not the Chantry's arm, just as magic was meant to serve the Maker?" Evelyn asked. "In the Circles, we were taught that. Templar and Mage prayed in the same chapel. I am a mage. We should be standing together against the Breach."

Barris smiled slightly. "It is refreshing to meet a mage who remembers our shared duty," he said.

"Yes, it has been refreshing for everyone it seems," Evelyn said primly even as Solas smiled. Abernache scoffed.

3

Red

Barris led them towards a door in the courtyard. Within, they came to what must have been a store room now repurposed. There was a table in the middle with chairs around it for a meeting. Candles flickered in sconces, their light dancing on the wet plate armour that Barris and some of his fellow Knights wore. Then, it appeared, the Lord Seeker made them wait. They sat around the table, discussing possible alliances. Abernache was leading full charge, wanting his opinion in every matter. Evelyn kept focused, speaking of no battles or committees, but only the Breach. She kept her mark silent as well.

Then the door to the inner part of the keep burst open. In walked a man in full plate mail, his strides telling of his barely pent-up anger. Other knights followed behind him, some archers, some in plate bearing swords. Evelyn frowned at the sight of their faces - pale with eyes red and puffy, their veins seeming to claw across their skin in dull red marks.

"Knight Captain Denham," said the knight. "The Lord Seeker sent me to die for you."

Evelyn frowned.

"Knight Captain," Abernache oozed. "A pleasure. This is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales. But truly authority puts you above such matters."

Denham laughed. "This is the alliance the Inquisition offers?" he spat.

Evelyn stood up slowly. "Lord Abernache, I suggest you give the Knight Captain some room," she said as the atmosphere began to thicken.

"You've a silver tongue, Herald. I will not let you take the Knight and the Knight Captain as well," Abernache snapped at her and turned to Denham with an oily smile. "Now, Knight Captain-"

"The Herald ruined this the minute she arrived," Denham said, ignoring Abernache. "She came with purpose, made them question, and ruined it all." Shouts rang out from both doors to the courtyard and the inner keep. Screams and swords striking shields filled the air.

Barris stood up. "Knight Captain - I must know what's going on!"

"You were all supposed to be changed!" Denham growled. "Now we must purge the questioning knights!"

"Exactly," Abernache oozed. "Now-" He spat blood, an arrow in his throat, and fell to the ground dead.

Evelyn's eyes narrowed as she swallowed her shock. "The Elder One is coming!" Denham gloated as one by one the knights who followed Barris were cut down from the shadow. Evelyn heard Cassandra's battle yell as magic flared behind her, no doubt from Solas. Crossbow bolts began to fire back at the archers in the far end of the room. Barris drew his sword and blocked a blow from his flank, another strike sent a red Templar bleeding to the ground. She eyed Denham, who watched her hungrily as he drew his sword. "No one shall leave here without being stained red!"

Evelyn let out a burst of energy from her mind, sending the Knight Captain flying backwards. Distance, she recalled. She fired off lightning from her staff, raining it down from the air itself on the captain before he even landed on the ground in a heap. He stood up as lightning arced over his plate. His helmet had been knocked off and Evelyn could see his face, sallow and pale, red veins flowing to his eyes, lips pulled back in almost insane rage. She remained behind the desk and fired more lightning at his exposed face, which burned his skin black, but he roared like a bull and charged at her, vaulting over the desk in full plate.

Evelyn flickered back into the distance and fired a barrage of power at Denham before raining down more lightning, which struck the red Templars trying to overwhelm Barris.

"Cassandra!" Evelyn called as Denham closed the distance. Evelyn saw her striking an archer down in the far end of the room. She poured her power into her staff and let it flare with cold. Denham screamed as his body began to freeze, but he ran on with mad fervour. She could hear his bones snapping as he fought to run despite his frozen muscles. He wasn't even trying to block the spells.

He fired off one of his own, red crystaline energy that blasted Evelyn backwards against the wall. Evelyn pushed the pain aside, though it began to sear through her and ran from the charging knight as he swung at her, barely missing her as she ducked the blow. Distance. Distance and power. She then turned suddenly to face the charging knight, her feet planted as she poured her will into the spell. She fired more winter's chill from her staff and the spell took hold, freezing the knight captain in place. Then Cassandra was there, whipping Denham on the head with the pommel of her sword. The knight captain collapsed.

"Is everyone alright?" Varric was asking. The dead littered the room, both Templars and the corrupt. Evelyn winced and looked down at her robes. There was blood on her abdomen, coated with strange red crystals that shattered at her touch. She knew the song that hummed from the crystals, but the song was changed, altered in a way she ominously recognized. "Is that-" Varric stopped as his eyes fell on her wound.

"Red lyrium," Evelyn said.

"Monstrous!" Cassandra burst out in outrage. "They're monstrous! Why are they taking red lyrium?"

"They're not like any Templars I've ever seen," Varric pointed out, shouldering his crossbow Bianca. "If they're taking the red stuff…"

Solas stepped forward, placing a glowing hand over her wound without a word. Immediately the pain began to fade. "Thank you, Solas." she saw the gash on his robe. "Are you-"

"I've already healed myself," he said. "What matters is that we must stop these red Templars now before it is too late."

"Barris," Evelyn said as she saw the knight kneeling by Denham's body. "Is he alive?"

"Barely," he said. "With a healing elixir, he would be able to survive."

Evelyn frowned, brushing the red lyrium crystals from her coat. "Solas, please send up a lightning flare. Captain Rylon can sweep up after us," she said, her voice shaking from anger. She tossed Barris an elixir from her own belt, which he caught. "Barris, bind him. We will deal with him later. For now, we need to speak to Lucius. The Lord Seeker has some questions to answer."

Once Denham was bound, they fought their way up through the keep. All around them they could hear the sound of distant fighting There were fights with more red Templars, which Evelyn found herself managing better. Distance truly was key as well as powering up her spells to ensure they had an effect. Their resistance seemed almost superhuman.

"This way to the courtyard," said Barris. "It's likely the Lord Seeker may be at the main hall at the top of the keep."

"Obviously," Varric said, running after Barris and Evelyn. "Just once I'd like to see the big bad people hole up in a kitchen, or maybe a privy."

"Perhaps that is an idea for a future book," Solas quipped. "Though I would have suggested the larder."

They climbed the stairs quickly, heading to the upper courtyard. Evelyn held the door handle and blinked. "Prepare them," she heard a voice echoing around her. The sound of it sent chills down her spine "Guide them to me!"

"Was that… Lord Seeker Lucius?" she asked slowly, looking up.

"I didn't hear anything," Varric replied slowly. "You feeling alright?"

She frowned. "I am. Let's get this over with." She pushed open the door. They emerged from the walls into the courtyard. The Templars were fighting the Red Templars at the other end of the courtyard, pinned down by archers on the roof. Evelyn raised her staff and rained down lightning easily from the stormy sky ontp the rooftops even as Cassandra, Varric and Barris charged forward. The battle was short and bloody for the Red Templars, who were swiftly killed.

Evelyn, hanging back to maintain her distance, saw a door to the side. She tried the handle and found it locked.

"Allow me," Varric grinned, coming up behind her and heading to the door. He slung Bianca over his shoulder and knelt before the lock to pick it.

"You're a useful fellow to have around, Varric," Evelyn smiled, her hand on her wound. She had to take care not to open it again. Magical healing could only go so far in the field.

"I try," Varric smiled. The door clicked open after a moment. The stench of death rolled out. Evelyn wrinkled her nose and headed inside. There, beside a brazier, drying in the smoke, was a corpse in Templar armour. Within was a well-maintained office with an oak desk and bookshelves lining the walls.

"Whose office is this?" Evelyn asked Barris as she knelt down beside the corpse. "And who is this man?"

"This is Knight Captain Denham's office. And that is - was the Knight Vigilant," Barris said, his voice puzzled. "But he was supposed to have died in the Conclave."

Evelyn stood up. "Let me guess, Denham told you that?" she asked, stepping away from the corpse and heading to the desk where she picked up a letter. "He was killed three days ago, judging from this letter."

"Was the Knight Captain keeping him here? Did he kill him? Maker's breath, what is going on with the order?" Barris breathed.

"We must find the Lord Seeker," Cassandra said with steel in her voice. "He betrayed the Templars and fed them Red Lyrium. What else has he done, I wonder."

Evelyn pocketed the letter. "We won't find out by lingering here," she said. "Come. We're nearly at the highest level." They emerged from the office and headed for the grand staircase that led to the, the main hall. There were corpses strewn on the steps. It was a massacre. How many of the order were dead now at Lucius' command?

To her surprise, she saw him standing before the red double doors of the main hall. He stood with his back to her, his silvery gray hair and plate armour, spattered with blood.

"Lord Seeker Lucius," Cassandra growled.

"It's time for you to talk," Evelyn said, walking towards him, her anger at the senseless loss of life, the atrocity of Templars being made to ingest Red Lyrium was too much.

He heard him chuckled. Before she could raise a spell in retaliation, he turned and grabbed her collar, pulling her backward into a green mist. "At… last!" he rejoiced as the world fell to darkness.


	3. Envy

Evelyn blinked as the world swam into view. It was dark here, everything lit by dim green light. A strange haze hung in the air, swirling about her. She felt alone here, and yet not. This place felt familiar, yet violated. She was standing on faded grass in a room that looked like a vaulted hall. Pillars rose through the haze, shadows of black against green. She stepped forward, the mist parting before her as whispers murmured around her, words barely on the edge of hearing.

The lights appeared in the mist, charred bodies frozen in writhes of pain as their faces burned. These bodies were from the Temple of Sacred Ashes. She grit her teeth, her heart racing from an old forgotten fear. She stepped around the grisly corpses, the smell of burning flesh strong in her nose. It turned her stomach.

There was a whisper before her and she looked up. Two shadows stood in the distance, familiar silhouettes. She walked forward, seeing… "Cullen? Josephine?" she said in shock. They stared ahead as if they never heard her, eyes blinking but unseeing. "What-" There was an excited gasp that echoed in the darkness, startling her.

"Will this shape let me know you?" asked a voice. She turned to see, emerging from a hazy wall, Leliana.

"Leliana?"

"Everything tells me about you," Leliana smirked, her voice bearing a strange metallic tone to it in the Fade. Evelyn pulled herself together. This was not unfamiliar to her. This was the Fade, it had to be. In the Circle, the Mediums would summon spirits from across the Veil to create realms for the Harrowing. This was another realm, and not one shared with a friendly spirit. She took a deep breath, telling herself that the stench of burning flesh was not real.

"So will this," Leliana purred, stepping behind Cullen, a dagger in her hand. She drew his head back, the dagger at his throat.

"Are you here to tempt me or copy me, demon?" Evelyn asked, her voice controlled.

Leliana said nothing. Cullen turned to look at her with those honey eyes. And Leliana drew the dagger across his throat. Evelyn felt the terror of it all rising, but it burned like rage inside her as she knew the sight wounded her. The demon seemed to know too. "Are you going to copy me?" it mocked in its own voice through Leliana's lips and vanished into a wall as Cullen slumped down to the ground, his neck gaping open and bleeding. Evelyn looked away as the smell of blood filled the air. It wasn't real. She had to rememeber that it wasn't real.

Josephine chuckled next to her. "Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker," Josephine mocked, toying with the dagger that cut his throat. Evelyn did not look at her, staring ahead instead. This was a demon talking. She could not let it win over her. "When I am done, the Elder One will ascend, and I will be you."

"You will never be me," Evelyn's voice cut through the whispers and echoes. "And your Elder One will never be divine, such is the conceit of mortals."

Josephine laughed once more, coming up behind her like a mist. "He knows, he was there!" she smiled and leaned close to Evelyn's cold glare. "He wants you to serve like everyone else, by dying in the right way."

Evelyn sneered slightly. "Never. Talk all you want, fool."

Josephine stepped back from her and walked into the green mist.

"I am not your toy," she heard behind her and recognized the voice. "I am Envy, and I will know you." She looked over her shoulder at Cullen, standing with dagger in hand. Her eyes glinted blue with suppressed rage. She would kill this demon for this. "Tell me, what you think, Herald," Cullen growled, appearing beside her with a shadow of herself before him, eyes glowing green with Fade fire, wearing the same garb that she wore when she stepped out of the Fade. Cullen stabbed into the shadow's back with a look of glee on his face. The shadow Evelyn fell, with a cry of pain, even as she herself felt the sting of the blade in her body. This was the Fade. Her mind made it real, and she refused to allow it. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Tell me what you feel…" Cullen growled hungrily once more. She spun around to see the War Table, markers burning upon the maps. She stepped back and bumped into something behind her. She turned to see the shadow of herself curl up in pain, grasping at her innards that spilled from a wound across her abdomen. Evelyn looked down at the knife in her hand. She had disemboweled herself- She gasp and threw the knife away into the mist as Envy's chuckle filled the air.

Evelyn turned, holding on to her anger. She ran through an open door and blinked. Four swords were leveled at her from all sides as she knelt on cold stone. She looked up into the accusing eyes of Cassandra. She recognized this, this was when she awoke in Haven after the explosion at the Conclave. "Our one chance for peace between the mages and the templars, and now it's over," Cassandra said, her voice as hard as her eyes. "If you had not been there-"

"They would have died anyway!" Evelyn snapped.

"-You're lying!" Cassandra growled as Evelyn backed away. She saw on the ground the shadow of herself as she stepped through the sword as if it were smoke. She grit her teeth and moved out of the circle as Cassandra continued to interrogate the shadow. "Foolishness," Evelyn snarled and walked through Cassandra to the opposite door and threw it open.

"-The Inquisition rivals any kingdom in Thedas," she heard. Two soldiers stood before her shadowed self.

"Good, our reach just about matches my ambition," she heard her shadow say.

"Honestly," Evelyn snapped in irritation. "Is wanting what you cannot have your only pleasure, demon?"

"Accusing," her shadowed self laughed. "Is that how you are? Finding weaknesses?" And the vision exploded before her. She swore and ran on through the nightmare realm, passing cells and prisons before being faced with another vision, Mother Giselle dragged in chains as her shadowed self branded her a heretic.

"Do you really think people will believe this?" she cried, willing the tears not to come.

"Do your friends know you so well?" Envy smirked through her own shadowed face. "Do they know your petty little fears and the ambition you bear? You wrap yourself in your own pride to hide it all… What would _he_ think of you..."

Evelyn felt the words cut into her. "I don't care what _he_ thinks, demon. I will never become this," she growled. She walked past her shadowed self as the vision exploded around her.

"You will die at the hands of the Elder One!" Envy screamed triumphantly.

"Damn this!" She ran ahead, needing to be free, to escape as around here there burst green fire from mounted dogs heads, searing the air. Evelyn cried out and raised her arms to shield her face from the fire that flared around her. The heat scorched her, even as the flames did not touch her. It wasn't real, it wasn't real… but it hurt!

"And through it all, you will see me, rising from the dregs of the Inquisition, making it greater than you could even dream! Who needs a Lord Seeker, when I could be you - the true Inquisitor that Thedas needs!"

"Thedas will never stand for this!" Evelyn cried.

"But you're so close… Become worthy? You don't know how _worthy_ you are, Herald!"

"Shut up!"

"You're hurting," said a gentle voice then, an oasis of calm in a mad place. It sounded like a young man.

Evelyn blinked at the new voice. "What?" she breathed.

"You're hurting, helpless, hasty; what happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?" came the gentle voice.

"What are you, thing?" Envy growled in the air.

Evelyn did not stop to think, she looked about. The walls of this part of the prison were stained with blood drawn into intricate magical mandalas. Never, never blood magic! She turned from the walls, her way forward barred by green flame. "You cannot run from me, Herald!" Envy gloated. "You cannot run from yourself!"

She saw a side door to the side and ran towards it, slamming the door shut behind her.

Inside was just another room of madness with four floors, one on the ground, two on the walls and one on the ceiling. Evelyn saw fire burning down in an upside down fireplace. On the true floor was a bed, similar to the one she slept in at Haven. She took a moment to catch her breath. The demon was getting to her. Its words too close to home. She had to go back out there.

Her feet were too heavy to move. She thumped the door with her fist as she snarled in anger. She had to go back out there. She touched the door hand.

"Wait."

She paused at the sound of the gentle voice. "Envy is hurting you," it whispered. "Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help - you, not Envy." She spun around, seeing a figure on the edge of her vision.

"You… who are you?"

"I'm Cole," said the voice innocently. "We're inside you. Or rather, I'm inside you. You're always inside you." She turned to see a young man standing on the floor of the ceiling, upside down as if it were the true floor.

"Cole?" Evelyn blinked. He wore dirty leather, his hair under a wide-brimmed leather hat covered his eyes. "You're no demon," she murmured.

"Envy hurt you - _is_ hurting you. I'm here in the hearing to help. It's- It's not usually like this."

"There's nothing usual about this," Evelyn murmured. "Nothing of what you say makes sense. Can you help-" A noise made her spin around, the sound of a hiss outside the room. She backed away, her fists clenching.

"I was watching," Cole said. "I watch. The templars were impressed when you came - but not like the Lord Seeker." She glanced at him, now sitting on the headrest of the bed.

"Fascinating," she couldn't help but note. He moved, but your eyes failed to see him doing so. He just appeared where he was.

"Thank you?"

"Cole," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That Lord Seeker was an Envy demon. It wants to be me."

"Yes. He turned the commanders, fed their fury, their fight. They're red inside."

"What of the others? Are they fighting Envy in the waking world too?"

"No, you're frozen. Envy was trying to take you. I heard it and reached out and then I was here. Thoughts are fast. We're here. Outside time is still. A blade still falls, hanging in the air like the sunset."

"That almost makes sense, Cole. How do I get out of here?"

"Well, you shouldn't. I mean, it's your head, you shouldn't be out of it."

"Then how do I evict… everyone else?" she asked urgently.

"He stretches," Cole said, standing up and walking off the bed. "It takes strength to make this place. Go on and you become weak, thin, too little of him. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more and Envy breaks down. You break out."

"So I tire him into submission," Evelyn frowned.

"Maybe. I hope it helps, it's better than sitting here and waiting to lose your face."

Cole turned to walk out of the room. "True," Evelyn murmured and ran to follow him.

He was standing before the falling green fire. "Thoughts are loud here," Cole said. "Think water."

"Water?"

"It may help."

Evelyn looked up at the falling fire and shut her eyes. Now she knew where she was. This was her own head. She could break free. She called to mind water, letting the thought surge in her mind's eye. Then she blinked when she felt spray on her face. Water poured from the ceiling, dousing the dogs' heads on the wall and quenching their flames. Cole had vanished. She ran on, ignoring Envy's scream of rage. "I will see more!"

She burst through the door behind the fires and saw on the War Table her own shadowed corpse, Cassandra and Chancellor Roderick argueing over her as she lay impaled on a sword.

"Like the first Inquisition, you shall bring pain and bloodshed!" Envy gloated.

"Unless you don't," Cole's gentle voice cut in. "You don't have to. None of this is real."

"Silence, thing! I am learning!" Envy cried. Evelyn pushed past the vision, vaulting over the War Table and through Roderick, passing through him as if he were smoke. With Cole's gentle words, the Envy demon's stung less, hurt less. She was not alone in her own mind. She was going to break free. That comforted her.

She ran through the prison, passing cell after cell of… people she knew. Gaunt, pleading for food, for mercy. She passed Josephine, her skin pale and bruised, her golden robes tattered as she begged for water. She passed Cullen, huddled in a cell, looking out at her as red lyrium crystals grew from his slumped form. Their red glow lit his armour like the dull light of a forge. She averted her eyes and ran past, not stopping. "Keep running," Cole whispered in her ear. "You're almost up. You're more you there than down here."

She came to a staircase, taking the steps two at a time, she burst through the door out into the light. She was in the courtyard now, the sunlight pale and weak here. She blinked in the light all the same, wincing as her eyes adjusted. "To the Void with this," she growled, anger driving her on like an auger, but it was controlled now. It had purpose. She was going to make Envy pay.

She ran higher and higher in the keep, following the familiar path she had taken with Barris in what felt like an eternity ago. Creatures tailed her now, shades hounded her path and green veilfire threatened to burst at her feet. "Bloody demon!" Evelyn snarled, firing out lightning at the shades, who shattered like glass when her spells touched them.

She passed Orlesian soldiers, muttering about the Inquisition's demon army. Over her dead body, as far as she was concerned. She did feel more like herself here. She felt more alive, everything down there stuck to the soul and ate away at you. She saw the red doors of the main hall at the top of the steps and ran for it, ignoring the fade fire that grasped at her heels.

She reached out to the door and felt herself pulled back. Wearing her shadowed self, Envy picked up up by her neck and slammed her against the door hard. Evelyn cried out as her head slammed against the wood. "Unfair! Unfair!" Envy screamed with her voice. "That thing kept you from giving me your shape!"

"What would you gain from being me?" Evelyn screamed, squirming against the grip at her neck, clawing at Envy's fingers.

Envy seemed to look at her incredulously. "What could you-? Argh!" he growled and lit his hand with green fire. "Once more, we'll start again, more pain- The Elder One still comes!" It touched the fire to her face, searing her. Her screams rang out over the empty Fade.

A shadow appeared behind the demon and Cole blinked into form on the out-stretched hand of one of the monumental statues. "It's frightened of you," Cole said gently.

"Get out of-" Envy began turning to glare at Cole. Evelyn brought her balled fists down on Envy's elbow, knocking itis hand from her neck. She pushed Envy back and slammed her head into its forehead flared with pain from the impact. The world went white.

She felt the world shift around her, solidifying. Wood was shattering before her. She opened her eyes, her hand pressed to her forehead as the remembered the phantom pain. Before her was no longer the Lord Seeker.

Envy reared up, three times as tall as a man. It was pale, spindly, deformed and without a face of its own. It screamed and faded into smoke, vanishing into the hall behind raised magical barriers.

"Andraste's flaming arsehole!" Evelyn growled, watching Envy disappear.

"The Lord Seeker!" Barris barked in shock.

"That was Envy," she said, gripping her staff. "It was a demon impersonating the Lord Seeker. And I think it needs to die."

"You'll get no argument from us," Varric said.

"Then the Lord Seeker..." Cassandra breathed.

"Is either caged or dead," Barris shook his head. "This is madness."

Evelyn charged her staff, lightning crackling from the tip. "Are you going to help me or not?" she asked him sharply.

"Yes, my lady Herald."

The hall was littered with dead red Templars, all deformed with crystals growing out of them. They had been fed lyrium until they themselves had turned into abominations. Now, the uncorrupted Templars were drinking philters of blue lyrium, their bodies changing in in a way Evelyn could sense - they sang with the hum of lyrium. Barris turned to her as the Templars gathered before the altar at the end of the hall behind which Envy had fled. "We will bring down the barriers," he said.

Evelyn nodded. She needed to see this. The barriers were made of what she she and Solas agreed to be warps in the Veil, nullifying all magic thrown at it and dispersing all force. If Barris and the others could suppress the vibrations that warped the Veil for these barriers, they could also suppress the vibrations at the Breach.

She watched them lower their swords into the crumbling wood of the elevated altar. Their bodies glowed with a blue aura. She felt her magic fading as, fresh with lyrium, they warped the Veil, dispersing the energy and nullifying magic in their wake. Evelyn willed lightning into her palm but no sparks came. However, her mark still flared upon command. Good. This was not affected by the Templars magic at least.

There was a thrumming in the Veil. Evelyn looked up at the barrier. "It's working," Solas said. He must have sensed the change in the Veil as well. "Their methods are round-about, but they do work.'' The barrier was flickering, like a reflection disturbed in a pool and then burst into nothingness, pushing the air back in a sudden gust of wind. Evelyn drew her staff as the Templars sank to the ground, spent and worn. "Barris!" Evelyn called as she saw him fall.

"He's down," said a Templar Lieutenant, whom they had rescued in the fight in the Main Hall.

"Look after him!" Evelyn snapped and ran up the stairs past the altar, hunting Envy. "Envy will pay for this! For the Templars, the Lord Seeker, for everything!"

"Be wary," Solas cautioned.

"Fine," Evelyn growled, but slowed her charge as they emerged into the highest courtyard, rain pelting down on them. Two towering Templar sentinel statues flanked the walls as they emerged. Lightning struck the ground, leaving scorched blooms in the wet grass. In the distance, through the storm clouds, Evelyn saw the swirling maw of the breech in the sky, lightning sucked up into the Fade as the clouds got caught in its swirl. Huge red lyrium crystals grew among the broken remains of pillars that littered the ground, making the air sickeningly warm despite the storm.

"Get off the ground when I say so," Evelyn said, eyeing the grass.

"Just give us fair warning, Sparky," Varric said, understanding what she meant. "I don't want to wind up deep fried."

"He will use the Fade to move around," Solas warned. "Stones would be best."

"I touched so much of you," Evelyn heard the metallic voice of Envy ringing in her ears. "But you are selfish with your glory. Now I'm no one."

"You will always be no one!" Evelyn cried out to the storm. "Show yourself!"

There was a scream, guttural and primal. The ground before her glowed green. Evelyn stepped back as Envy burst from the Fade, its six arms balling clawed hands into fists. The rain pelted it, making its human-like skin glisten.

"Dark and desperate, death to make yourself more alive - I used to be like you," Evelyn heard. She smiled to herself as Cole walked up beside her. "I'm not any more, you shouldn't be, either."

Envy did not answer, only screaming in rage to the tempest as it charged. Evelyn passed through it like the winter's breeze and stopped behind the demon, with her staff held low. She drew her hand into a fist, Envy screamed as the rain froze, spearing his body with icy shards. Cassandra, covering her head with her shield, feinted and slashed at Envy's legs as Varric pelted it's face with crossbow bolts. Envy struck out at Varric, but a flash of green caught the strike as Varric was sent stumbling back, unharmed. Evelyn glanced at Solas, standing at the edge of battle, focusing energy through his staff as he strengthened the barriers around them all.

Through it all, Evelyn could see a shadow moving about the monster, Cole fading in and out of view. Evelyn turned her eye to the storm and retreated back to the farthest end of the courtyard where the flagstones pooled with rainwater. She saw Envy fade into the ground once more then and vanish. "Watch out!" Solas shouted even as Envy burst out in front of him and slashed at him. Evelyn saw his barrier catching the blow in a flash of grees as he retreated to fire more bolts of cold at the demon. The demon turned to the next closest foe. "Oh, shi-" Varric grunted before he was thrown back, rents in his breastplate under his coat went deep. He struck the stone pillars and fell limp.

"Envy!" Evelyn called. "Don't you want your prize!" Envy screamed and vanished into the ground again. She began to run but a blast of veilfire burst from the ground in front of her and she froze. Envy caught her in a strike, sending her tumbling over the stones. She felt the barrier around her shatter. Envy struck out a clawed hand to rip her open.

Evelyn rolled out of the way before Cassandra's shield was there, catching the blow that still scored the flagstones. With a cry, the Seeker slashed at Envy's elbow, sending tendons and blood spurting through the air. Evelyn fired off another grasp of cold from her staff as she was prone on the ground, binding its knees. Evelyn saw Cole above the demon, two daggers in his hands, his eyes hidden from view by his hair. He stabbed down into the back of the demon, daggers catching it in the spinal column at its neck. Envy screamed as two of its arms went limp. It reached back and grabbed Cole with the arms that could still move, tossing the boy away into a broken pillar.

"Cole!" Evelyn cried. He got to his feet and vanished.

"Go!" Cassandra cried at her, sending her strikes to the demon's frozen knees. Evelyn scrambled to her feet and ran as Cassandra harried the demon. Varric's bolts rained down as the dwarf found higher elevation on the remains of a pillar as blood coated in his hair. Solas stood near him, raising another barrier over them all. The mage had healed Varric. The demon crashed down on the flagstones as its knees gave way. Cassandra's sword sliced open its armpit severing tendons, her strikes precise and meant to immobilize, as was her Dragon-Hunting heritage.

Evelyn looked up at the sky. "Get up!" she commanded, seeing the clouds roil above them.

Solas and Cassandra scrambled up onto the stumps of broken pillars. Cole was nowhere to be seen. Envy tried to swipe at her with its remaining arms. She raised her staff and lightning lanced down from the sky, a continuous blazing flash that filled the air with the smell of burning flesh. Evelyn's blue eyes flashed purple with the spell, her staff commanding the very clouds above. She saw Envy writhing on the ground, burning, burning. She recalled the fire on her face, the sight of her friends mutilated, the thought that she could ever be like what he showed her - And she burned him some more, the lightning flaring in earnest as thunder rolled overhead.

"Evelyn!" Cassandra called out, trapped on the pillar as lightning arced across the wet grass.

"Stay back!" Evelyn commanded. "Stay back!"

Then a hand was on her shoulder. "You're hurting," she heard Cole's gentle voice in her ear. "It's in you, balling up like a pearl. But let it go. He's already dead."

The light died in Evelyn's eyes, a look of shame crossing her face. She lowered her staff, the bolt ceasing, leaving only a dark shadow that burned the eyes. She winced and grabbed her shoulder, pain washing over her. Her robe was ripped open by Envy's claws, soaking with blood. She glared at the charred remains of Envy as her friends looked at her in shock. "It is done," Evelyn snarled, pulling her mind from Cole's words, wrapping herself in barely contained anger like a cloak. "Let's go get the Templars."


	4. The Herald

Evelyn gasped in pain and winced from the physician's needle. She sat in her tent in the Inquisition encampment. By the light of the brazier, with rain still pattering the tent, the physician stitched up a wound on her shoulder with catgut. Evelyn bit her lip biting back the pain. She faced the back of the tent, her robe pulled off her shoulder. Around the brazier were Solas, Varric and Cassandra.

"We can confirm that the Lord Seeker and this… Elder one, have plans for Orlais," Cassandra was saying as she stood by the brazier, warming herself, her arms crossed sternly before her. "We found papers in that strange room, including the one pinned into Empress Celene's bust with a knife. Now you also say that you foresee a demon army?"

"Yes," Evelyn said. "Envy spoke of this in the Fade."

"Then we must find a way to stop the Elder One," Solas said firmly. He stood apart from the rest, though he too was troubled. "To assassinate the Empress of Orlais is one thing, but nothing can stop him with an army of demons at his back."

"I don't think anyone was going to suggest we let him do it, Chuckles," Varric said, lounging on a low bench as he calibrated his crossbow. His head was wrapped in bandages.

"The question is how," Evelyn asked as the physician finished the last stitch. She winced and pulled on her robe once more, fastening it as she stood up. The physician took his leave. "How could this Elder One bind so many demons? Is he a mage?"

"Sufficient magic would allow the binding of multiple entities, yes," Solas said. "To bind an army, however…"

"We cannot take this lightly," Evelyn sighed. "But we cannot act for now, we know too little."

"So now we wait for the other shoe to drop," Varric said. "That's going to be fun."

"Now we bring the Templars back and seal the Breach," Cassandra said firmly. "Ser Barris and the Knight Lieutenants will accompany us ahead of the others. They are the best of their order, such as remains. They should be able to suppress the Breach sufficiently."

"So few of them," Evelyn said wearily."I hope it's enough, or all this would have been for naught."

"Cheer up, Sparky," Varric chuckled, shouldering Bianca. "Think positive, that's what I always say as if this moment."

Evelyn chuckled at that. "I will. I'm tired, I think. Perhaps it's best we turned in."

Cassandra and Varric said their good nights, but Solas lingered. As the tent flap closed, Evelyn looked at Solas. "Not tired, Solas?" She asked, sitting down on her cot and adjusting her bed roll.

Solas squatted down in front of her. "Would you like to discuss your journey into the Fade?" He asked.

Evelyn blinked at him and smiled. "I'm fine, Solas," she assured him. "Envy tried to take me but failed and we killed him."

"That in itself is a miracle. Envy is a powerful demon. It is desire unrequited and perverted. It seeks to wear the lives of others. It wore down the Lord Seeker. But not you."

"I had help," Evelyn replied, turning her attention to smoothing out her bedroll. "Cole, the fade-touched boy, wherever he is. Without him-"

"You would not be you," Solas finished.

"I already do not feel like me," she smiled wrily. "I feel like I've seen seen a glimpse of my future. And I don't like it." Solas was quiet. Evelyn found the words tumbling out of the her. "I must become worthy. But what is that? In the nightmare, I... My words were law, life and death. I did what I wanted, no matter the cost - be it friends or enemies. Is that me? What frightens me is that I think it might be."

"You did what had to be done," Solas said.

"And doomed the mages to servitude," Evelyn said. "Now I'll make Denham pay for what he's done. And the Lord Seeker. Those who have crossed me so far... And, Maker's tears, I will do it with no hesitation." She frowned, her voice was hard as she remembered the searing pain on her face. What had she done in retaliation? She had burned Envy for hurting her. Burned it and watched it writhe, holding Cassandra's killing blow until Envy screamed it's final breath. Were it not for Cole's words...

"You are the Herald," Solas said. "The one who leads because no one else is willing. Such is the burden of the power that you must wield. And it does not always allow mercy. Why do you hate yourself for that? To do what must be done, no matter the cost, it is a rare gift." He smiled faintly. "You need rest," he said, standing up."Perhaps it might be best for you to... sleep."

Evelyn found herself laying down unbidden, her eyes heavy with sleep. It was within a breath that she drifted off into slumber, dreaming dreams of her childhood under under a purple sky filled with stars, where no troubles found her and she was at peace. All the while, a shadow on a hill watched her, making her feel safer.

The War Room in Haven's Chantry was dimly lit by candles in the sconces. The advisors were already there waiting when Cassandra and Evelyn walked in. Evelyn still spared her arm, not wanting to rip open the stitches. They sat down to debrief Cullen, Leliana and Josephine. "What you found in the Captain's office is abominable," Cullen said, steepling his hands as he frowned with concern. "It indicates that the officers blighted their knights with red lyrium even before they knew that the Lord Seeker was a demon."

"And they did so willingly," Cassandra added.

Leliana sighed. "Which put us in a position to demand more of the Templars," she said. "But you still gave them a free alliance. You should have consulted us first."

"And I was supposed to keep them in the courtyard while I sent a message?" Evelyn asked. "The Breach does not wait for us."

"Still, an alliance with the Templars was our original goal," Josephine said. "May we instead discuss their imminent arrival?"

"The veterans were with us in our column," Evelyn said. "Some stayed to gather the rest of the Templars for mobilisation before departing. We should wait for them. In the meantime, we should secure our-"

There was a gust of smoke as Cole appeared on the table, playing idly with an ebony map marker. "They're already on their way," Cole said calmly.

"Maker!" Cullen burst out and drew his sword.

"Wait!" Evelyn cried, rising to her feet, seeing a sword in Cassandra's hand as well. Evelyn grabbed Cassandra's wrist. "Stop!"

"I came with you to help," Cole said. "I wanted to tell you but you were busy."

"Call the guards! This creature is-" Cassandra began.

"This creature is why I am still me," Evelyn said firmly. "When the Envy Demon tried to claim me, I couldn't escape. He helped me! Even when fighting Envy, he was there!"

"Was he? But this creature is-"

" _Whatever he is_ , he has helped." She looked at Cullen, who reluctantly lowered his blade.

"Like you do," said Cole. "You help people when they would have died. I want to do that. I can help."

"How altruistic of you," Cassandra's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"A moment, Cassandra," Leliana said. "I would like to hear how he plans to help."

"Yes. What kind of help?" Cullen asked, not sheathing his sword as Cole stepped off the table.

"The hole in the sky, it's too loud for spirits to think. It pulls, pushes out pain. I want to close it. I'm hard to see, I can kill things that would hurt people. I won't get in the way, I promise."

"He saved my life in Therinfall," Evelyn said to Cassandra and Cullen.

"But what does it want?" Cassandra asked.

"I think… he really does want to help."

Cole smiled slightly. "I won't be in the way; no notice, no trouble. Tiny, until you want someone to see."

"You're not honestly suggesting that we give him run of the camp?" Cullen asked.

"Not freely, perhaps," Josephine said. "But it seems a waste to- Hold on!" She blinked as Cole was gone.

"Where did he go?" Cassandra exclaimed.

"He does that," Evelyn said reassuringly. "You'll get used to it."

"Ooh, we should get him to teach us," Leliana smiled. "It looks like a useful trick. I will have people watch the boy, but for now, let's not get distracted from the Breach."

"We wait for the veterans to arrive then," Evelyn said. "After that, we close it, and end this at last." She looked down at her palm, which flickered green through her leather glove. She closed her palm into a fist and willed the mark silent.

"We have some time, then. It will take them at least a day to arrive," Cassandra said. "I will see to our preparations."

Evelyn moved to walk out as Leliana and Josephine passed, but she paused when she felt a hand on her wrist, holding her back. She looked back at Cullen as the door to the War Room closed. His fingers dropped from her wrist. "Rylon told me about your injuries," he said. "Are you alright?"

"They're healing," she said. "I know some healing magic that should speed things along. I will recover."

"And the demon? This Envy-"

"I would prefer not to talk about it," she cut in, her voice harsher than she expected. "I mean, Solas has already… I spoke to him. It's disconcerting to discuss."

"They tried to break you," he murmured. "But you survived. I'm glad." He hesitated. "That you're alright," he said. Awkwardness bloomed between them. He rubbed the back of his neck the way he always did when he was uncertain of what to do. "If you... need to speak to anyone, you could - I mean, I'm here. It's not military advice, but I do know a little of helping mages."

She smiled warmly and tiptoed to kiss him affectionately on the cheek. "You're sweet, Cullen," she said with a chuckle. "Like a petit four! I'll keep you in mind if I feel troubled." He stared at her in shock before the glow of a blush spread from his neck to his cheeks.

That was the truth. No games here. She felt stripped naked by Envy and hadn't the heart to be anything other than what she was at this point. She headed to the door and stepped outside. "Come, I want you to meet Ser Barris. He's a good man."

"Er, right, Barris," he cleared his throat. "Let's go then."

Night had settled over Haven. Evelyn had spent most of the day sleeping, recovering from Therinfal Redoubt. She awoke, blinking in the light of her fireplace. Her head felt like it was stuffed with straw and her mouth was dry. How long has she been asleep? Her dreams had been painful. Nightmares of Envy, burning pain and eyes full of accusation glaring at her. She groaned and sat up to the welcomed sight of a tub of hot water behind a screen.

There was a note on the table. "I just had the thought that you might like this," she read. It was signed by Josephine. She smiled and disrobed quickly, tossing her sleeping robes onto the bed before stepping into the bath.

She moaned with pleasure, sinking into the water, her skin turning pink from the heat. The bath rejuvenated her, until she raised her arm to lay it on the lip of the tub. She winced at the pain from her wound. "Blast," she muttered, raising her hand to the wound. A gentle glow of magic flickered in the tub as she healed herself slightly. She was better at throwing lightning and brewing herbs than at healing magic. She never had the quiet of mind for it. She tried to now, pushing aside thought of Envy's nightmare.

There was a knock on the cottage door behind her. Evelyn gave a startled gasp. "Maker," she breathed. With Josephine still in her mind, she said, "Come in."

The door opened. It took her a moment to realize that the screen was arranged to block the window. "Herald, the Lieutenants are- Oh Maker!"

"Really, Cullen?" Evelyn exclaimed, not turning around. Water splashed as she covered her chest with her arms, blushing to the roots of her hair. "Why didn't you knock?"

"I did knock! You said to come in!"

"I - I thought you were someone else!" She glanced at him over her shoulder. He had his back turned, she couldn't see his face over the fur.

"I'll - I'll come back another time." He turned to leave. Evelyn felt the cold blow into the room as he opened the door.

"Wait," she said, trying to steady her voice. Why was she panicking? She cleared her throat. "Shut the door."

She sensed his hesitation, but the door shut. "Really, I can come back," he said.

"You don't have to worry. It's not like we're courting or - or anything."

"Er. Right."

"You're just… giving me a report. And I want to hear this. Just don't turn around!" She recalled his breath on her arms. The man unwound her just by standing close and he wasn't even trying. "What's this about Lieutenants?"

"What?"

"Lieutenants, Cullen," she repeated. "Are they here?"

"Oh! Yes, the last of the Lieutenants arrived this afternoon. You were still sleeping. Adan recommended we let you rest. They've been dosing lyrium the whole day."

"We have lyrium?" Evelyn asked, surprised.

"Josephine arranged purchase."

"Thank goodness. I thought we didn't have any."

"We had some before, but not enough for all of them. There is a problem, however."

Evelyn sighed. "Of course there is."

"We're getting some mages from Redcliffe, fleeing the mobilisation. They don't have much details as to where the Magister was taking them, except that they were to leave. I think these lot escaped before the Magister finally left. As of now, Redcliffe Castle stands empty."

"That's good news, is it not?" she asked.

"At first. There are tensions now between them and the Templars. I thought that as the Herald, it would be best for you to speak with them."

Evelyn let out a breath of annoyance. "I will not have them repeat Redcliffe here," she said firmly. "Don't turn around." There was the sound of water splashing as Evelyn stood up, bath water running in rivulets down her body and into the tub. She saw Cullen shift uneasily at the door. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Evelyn asked, heading behind the screen to her chest, looking for fresh robes.

"That's not quite the word I would use," Cullen replied.

Evelyn chuckled as she dressed. Cullen waited quietly for a moment, then he finally spoke. "Did you sleep well?" he asked her. "No nightmares?"

She froze, her heart sinking. "There were," she said simply.

"They will pass."

"Will they?"

"Yes. It may take a while, but they will. Just try not to let it change you too greatly."

"I am not worried that they do," she murmured quietly. "I'm worried that they don't." She turned to look at him, his back still to her. There were rumours about the Circle of Ferelden where she knew he served before Kirkwall. The Circle has been a hair's breadth from the Rite of Annulment when it was overrun with abominations. It was an event that enchanters in other Circles studied as a warning. She looked at Cullen, realizing that hers was not the only soul sent to the anvil. She stepped up to him, her blue eyes meeting his gentle golden eyes. "Thank you, Cullen," she said quietly, touching his face gratefully.

He smiled at her, the scar at the top of his lip moving in way she found delightful. "Have faith, Evelyn."

"I should," she smiled, feeling her heart flutter in his smile. She cleared her throat and stepped away from him. She picked up her staff from where it leaned against her bed and set it in its clasp on her coat. "Let's go, then."

"Right," he said. Then he paused, looking at her. "Your hair is wet," he pointed out.

"You startled me and it got wet."

"It's cold, you'll fall ill." He looked so serious when he spoke, Evelyn couldn't help but laugh, her voice tittering in the air, carried by the night breeze. "I'm serious."

"I know," she covered her mouth to stop the laughter as she held her middle. "I'm sorry. Yes, you're right. But I'm afraid I'll have to brave it for the good of the Inquisition. You'll have to give me some styling tips, one day. Your hair always looks impeccable. You have a marvelous sense of style for a hardened warrior."

He rolled his eyes as he headed to the door. "Why do I even-"

The mages were easily dealt with, mostly the young and the infirm who had fled the mobilisation. Evelyn knew that they were still traumatised by the Magister, but having an Aequetarian mage as the Herald convinced the older ones that the Templars were not there to persecute.

They were assigned some of Cullen's ex-Templar soldiers as guards, which seemed to settle the matter. "We'll let them be for now," Evelyn said, walking away from the barracks tents with Cullen at her side. "Just keep the uniformed Templars away from them if it makes them jumpy. Best we also not bring them to the Breach tomorrow. We'll keep our contingent small."

An elven messenger ran up to her. "Herald, Mother Giselle has asked for your aid. Some of the dying from Therinfall are calling for you. They want to speak to the Herald before they... before-"

"Me?" Evelyn blinked. She paled slightly. "Because I'm the Herald. Right." Prayers from the dying, as if she could giftwrap them and deliver them to the Maker. But she could not say no. She steeled herself. "I'll be there shortly," she said. The messenger left.

"Excuse me, Cullen," she said. "I must- I must go." She left him in the snow, not seeing the look of concern on his face.

The soldier was young, injured at Therinfall when they stormed the keep to sweep up after Evelyn and the others. He looked no older than fifteen. He lay in Mother Giselle's makeshift infirmary, where cots lined the walls of of a large tent lit by braziers. Mother Giselle stood by the bed of the dying soldier as Evelyn went up to him. The boy looked up at her as she knelt down. His eyes sunken, his skin pale and his lips parted with ragged breath. His chest was a crisscross of bandages, the smell of blood from him could turn the stomach.

"His name is Even," Mother Giselle said.

"Herald," he breathed, reaching out to her.

"Yes," she said, taking his hand hand as she saw knelt by his cot. She held his hand in both of hers, realizing that his fingers felt so cold.

"Aching, burning, pain blooming like a flower. It hurts." Cole stood by by the cot, unseen by all except her. "Fear inside, what will happen to me? Mother, help me. Where will I go when I die?"

Evelyn wished Cole would stop. She willed back the tears. "I'm... I'm scared, Herald," the boy wept.

"I know, dear," she said comfortingly. "You're afraid."

"Will she be there?"

"Who?"

"Andraste."

Evelyn felt the words stick in her throat, her mind blank.

"Just say yes," Cole said. "He's going to die anyway. Words to make him happy, whole..."

Evelyn bit her lip. "Yes," she said to the boy. "She will be." Evelyn shut her eyes. "Let me sing the chant for you," she murmured. His grip on her hands tightened. She touched the boy's hand to her forehead as she prayed Chants that she never knew would touch her so closely. "O Maker, hear my cry: Seat me by Your side in death. Make me one within Your glory, and let the world once more see Your favor. For You are the fire at the heart of the world and comfort is only Yours to give." She could hear the boy crying as her own tears fell. "May Andraste guide you to the Maker's side, Even."

Mother Giselle touched her shoulder and Evelyn stood, laying the crying boy's hand by his side. "Are there more?" Evelyn asked, her voice shaking.

"If this pains you…" Mother Giselle.

"I am fine." She wiped her eyes with the hem of her sleeves. "Please, Mother Giselle, let me speak to them."

There were more to pray with, and she did so, each prayer stained with tears. The dying, some old, some young, believed in her and the cause of the Inquisition. She prayed with them all. And the weight of it bore down on her. Cole's words guided her to give them comfort. But the boy always slipped out of sight and mind.

She walked in a daze away from the infirmary, her mind clouded by weighty thoughts. She passed a fireplace in the snow between two tents. Varric sat on a bench by the fire with a cask at his side and a stein in his hand. "Andraste's ass, Sparky," Varric said, looking at her. "You look like you've been through the wringer. What happened? Did Curly finally drop his stutter - among other things."

She smiled at the dwarf. "He doesn't stutter, Varric," she said. "Not all the time. And what else is he supposed to drop, exactly?"

"You really want me to say it?" he asked, reaching behind the bench for another mug, which he passed her. He filled it from the cask.

"What's this?" Evelyn asked, taking the mug he handed her and looking down into the golden liquid within. It hit her nose like a sledgehammer.

"Hirol's Lava Burst!" Varric said. "It's kind of-" Evelyn drained the cup in three sips. "Strong."

Warmth bloomed inside her as the drink went down. She shuddered, relishing it. "This will help me sleep," she grinned at him and laughed at the shocked expression on his face. "What? We drank in the Circle too, you know. You won't believe the moonshine the Tranquil can brew. I drank Antivan Honey Trap once and lost track of three days."

Varric grinned and refilled her cup. "Can't imagine the Herald of Andraste running around drunk for three days," he said.

Evelyn sat down opposite him at the fire. "I wasn't the Herald then, I'm still just me," she said, sipping the drink. "I think, anyway. All this shit is weird, I don't know where I end and the Herald begins anymore."

"You're not kidding. All the weird shit you've been through? I wouldn't know what day it was if I were you. Part of me kind of hope this is a dream, that we'll wake up and find it's some bullshit Fade stuff."

Evelyn laughed darkly. "It _is_ bullshit Fade stuff, but not the sort you can wake up from. Still, tomorrow we seal the Breach and hopefully everything goes back to being nice and normal and I don't have to be Herald anymore."

"You're starting to sound like you don't want the job, Sparky."

"Can't imagine anyone would! Can you imagine the interviews?" She gestured with her cup, puckering her lip imperiously. "You there! Mortal! I need someone to close this hole in the sky - nasty business, you know - and then maybe lead the whole world to peace and happiness and rainbows. You're hired! Here's a magic mark! I want reports every week!" She snorted. "I can see the queues of people who'd want that job."

Varric laughed. "You don't know the half of it, Sparks. You might find there are a lot of weirdos who think that they can do this. Sure! Demons! Who cares, right? Knock 'em on the head and they go away. Now pay me money!" He refilled her cup.

She laughed. "Trust the dwarf to think of stipends! I never even considered that." She blinked when she thought of Even. She drained her cup. "They couldn't pay me enough. I don't care what everyone says, the Maker should have found someone better than me. But I'm the sod that's got the mark. I'll have to do." She handed the cup back to Varric, her cheeks pink from the drink. "I'd better not drink too much. Got a Breach to close tomorrow. Can't work with a hangover."

"We'll continue when you fix that hole in the sky, Maybe break open another cask. Sera's Friends put us in touch with some Butterbile."

"Maker's tears, that stuff kills people!" Evelyn exclaimed.

"If it's good!"

She laughed and bade Varric goodnight, walking slightly unsteadily back to her cottage. She collapsed on her bed in the warm glow of drink. She was asleep a moment later and the nightmares once more embraced her in their fold.


End file.
